The Funniest Items We Got Stuck Up Our Butts Last Year

A huge thanks to whoever pores through all this data, because it must be a pain in the butt . . .

A writer at Defector.com went through the government's official database of E.R. visits to find the funniest things we got stuck INSIDE OURSELVES last year.

The full list has 50 different items. Here are the highlights . . .

1. A turkey baster

2. A wine stopper

3. A shampoo bottle. The guy claimed he slipped in the shower.  (Suuuuure.)

4. Nails and screws

5. A highlighter

6. A baseball. The guy said he just wanted to "see what it felt like."

7. A pair of pliers.  (Careful! The guy said he was using them to retrieve a sex toy, and the pliers also got stuck.)

8. A bunch of marbles

9. A coat hanger (!!!)

10. A penny

11. A sandal

12. A doorknob

13. A light bulb (!!!)

14. A vape pen

15. Two pencils (You'd think you'd stop after the first one.)

16. A corncob pipe

17. A rock

18. An egg

19. Part of a nose hair trimmer  (???)

20. A bunch of uncooked pasta

(Defector)