Today’s digital dating world is complicated and challenging, so much so that many feel lucky if they manage to land a first date. But it’s getting a second date that seems to really require that luck. According to one expert, a lot of singles do or say things on a first date that keep them from getting asked out again.
Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert at DatingAdvice.com, is sharing the common mistakes people make that keep them from getting past the “We should do this again sometime” cop-out. Here’s what you want to avoid on a first date if you’re hoping to get a second one:
- Oversharing - While you want to get to know each other, when meeting on a first date, it’s important not to overwhelm the person with personal details. Sharing too much too soon can be a turn-off, so instead, you want to leave them interested and wanting more, as in that second date.
- Fixating on whether there’s chemistry or not - Sure, we all want to feel those butterflies in your stomach when leaving a date, but Orbuch reminds us that it doesn’t always happen. She says it’s an unrealistic expectation that only happens in the movies, but also points out that chemistry and attraction can grow over time as you get to know someone.
- Bringing up past relationships in a negative way - No one wants to hear you bash your awful ex on a first date. It’s normal to mention past relationships then, just try to keep it brief and neutral instead of getting into the details about why it didn’t work out and what’s going wrong in your life as a result.
- Not asking any questions - Being open about yourself can be good, but not if you’re talking too much about yourself and not showing interest in your date by asking them questions.
- Not having fun - Try to remember dating is supposed to be fun and you should be enjoying yourself. “If you’re too serious, the date sounds too much like a job interview, or you’re so focused on whether you will marry this person or have a future with this person, your date will not go well,” Orbuch says.
Source: NY Post
Scott's Thoughts:
- No sparks on the first date is one thing, but if there are none after date number two, we’re out!
- When dating was a thing for me, I tended to overshare. With age comes wisdom. I try to shut up and listen now.
- What was the absolute worst first date you’ve been on? What made it so terrible?
