Dear Steve and Shirley,
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and he’s been talking about marriage—but there’s a mystery woman in his life. He spends a lot of time at my house, but whenever I go to his place, it’s super clean and his refrigerator is always stocked with home-cooked meals and leftovers. I’ve known him for years, and I’ve never heard him mention grocery shopping or getting food delivered. He doesn’t cook, and the food in his fridge is definitely homemade. His mother is elderly and stopped cooking a long time ago; she told me that herself.
So, who is cooking for my boyfriend and keeping his house spotless—right down to dropping those blue tablets in the toilet? He claims he’s a neat freak, but that’s not how he behaves at my house. I told him I’d like to spend more time at his place, including overnight stays, so we can check out restaurants near him. He started making excuses about only having chain restaurants nearby, and insisted my house feels cozier.
I finally insisted that we spend a weekend at his place and said I wanted to leave some of my things there. He stopped me cold, telling me he doesn’t like clutter and needs time to clear some space in his closet and bathroom. How is it that we’ve been dating and having sex for four years, yet I feel like he’s hiding something? Who’s doing all the cooking and cleaning at his place? Is there a mystery woman on the other side of town? Please advise.
